She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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