Small penises have feelings too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
