apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
