Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
