it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
