i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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