is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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