no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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