You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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