The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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