I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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