If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
