i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
