Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
