my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
