It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
