im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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