Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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