Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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