haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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