i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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