i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize