You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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