omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will pee on everything he values.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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