Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
