so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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