Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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