I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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