what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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