He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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