was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There r osticjed everywhere
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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