So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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