She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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