I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Randomize
