There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
