We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
