but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
