She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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