It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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