i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
