OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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