when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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