I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
