absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
