Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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