tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
