Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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