I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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