then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
