i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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