I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it's like iHOP with fire
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I forgot wine drunk hurts
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize