I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
