yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
