No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
