u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's just like the Real World with babies
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
