I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
