EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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