Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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