Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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