She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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