I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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