he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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